Conquering Chaos
by JJ Rust
Summary: JL/South Park Xover. Booster Gold tries to make a name for himself by defeating South Park's greatest villain. But things don't go according to plan.


_This is it. This is gonna be my big break._

Booster Gold rubbed his gloved hands together and strode through the storage unit, his night vision goggles easily penetrating the darkness. He fought to steady his breathing, but was too excited. When he heard about this guy, and the apocalyptic plans he had attempted, he knew taking him down would guarantee him celebrity status. Heck, just the guy's name alone marked him as a big-time villain, probably right up there with the likes of Brainiac and Sinestro.

Booster Gold smiled, imagining himself dropping this lunatic with a stun beam and dragging him off to jail. When tomorrow rolled around, he'd be as famous as Superman or Batman. And sure as hell no one would _ever _mistake him for Green Lantern again.

He stared down at the blue and gold uniform that hugged his muscular frame. _How can anyone look at me and think Green Lantern? There's not a speck of green on this costume._

He stopped a couple feet from one of the storage units. A muffled voice came from behind the door. He reached up to his earpiece and boosted its volume. The voice became clearer.

"I can hardly wait until tomorrow. Just imagine how the students of South Park Elementary will react when they go to take their standardized tests and realize that all their Number Two pencils are gone." Maniacal laughter erupted from Booster Gold's earpiece.

"Did you get that, Skeets?" He turned to the floating egg-shaped droid next to him.

"Affirmative. It seems a rather juvenile exercise. Certainly not on the level of his past operations."

Booster Gold's lips twisted. "Yeah. But who knows? Maybe he's using this as a distraction for something really serious. Either way, we're busting this nutjob. The link to the TV station still good?"

"Yes it is. The South Park Community Access Channel is receiving our signal live."

Booster Gold nodded. It irked him to no end that the rinky dink community access channel had been the only TV station that wanted carry Skeets' video feed of this takedown. CNN, FOX News and MSNBC had all laughed at him. _USA Today_, _The New York Times _and _The Daily Planet_ all gave him not-so polite brush-offs. Even NPR hung up on him.

Whatever. This was the age of the Internet. Okay, it was stone age compared to the information-sharing systems of his native 25th Century. But it would get the job done. Ten minutes after Community Access broadcast his takedown, someone would surely put it up on You Tube. Then the whole world would see that he, Booster Gold, was as good as anyone in the Justice League.

"Let's do this." He grinned at Skeets, then raised his hand to the door of the storage unit.

A yellow ray flashed from his fist. The door blew apart. Booster Gold leaped through the smoke and landed in a crouch.

"Ahhh!" A high-pitched scream echoed off the walls. "What's that?"

Booster Gold spotted a silver helmet and green cape. He straightened his arm and fired a stun beam. It caught the costumed person in the face, knocking him on his back.

Movement to his left. That had to be the lunatic's partner.

Booster Gold spun around and fired another stun beam. The second villain gasped and crumpled to the floor.

Smiling, he spun around to face Skeets' small camera. "There you have it, everyone. I, Booster Gold, have captured one of the most diabolical villains in the world . . . and this loser didn't even have time to raise so much as a finger against me. Thanks to me, the you can all rest a little easier tonight."

Smiling wide, he strutted over to the fallen villain. The psycho moaned, his head lolling back and forth.

"Your days of threatening the world are over, Pro -"

His mouth hung open in shocked silence. He blinked a few times, refusing to believe the sight before him.

_No way. No flippin' way!_

His eyes fixated on the little chunky body, the round head and the delicate face . . . a face with blood dripping from its nose.

Booster Gold reached down and removed the silvery helmet. It crumpled in his hand.

"What the hell? Aluminum foil?"

He gaped and stared at the tuft of blond hair covering this villain's head. This couldn't be. There was no way some ten-year-old kid could be Professor Chaos!

"Wha . . . what's going on?" Professor Chaos . . . rather the little boy, sat up, his voice squeaky and unsure. "Why does my nose hurt?" He reached up, wincing as he touched his nose, then looked at his fingers.

"Oh . . . oh Jeez Louise, I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding!" The kid let out an anguished cry.

"Calm down, kid. Calm down. It's gonna be okay."

The kid kept crying. Fear and confusion swirled within Booster Gold. He'd used his stun beam against a little boy. Nailed him right in the face. He couldn't understand it. He'd seen the web pages that claimed Professor Chaos had tried to destroy the ozone layer and flood the world. He doubted this kid could even flood his backyard.

"I think my nose is broken!" The boy spoke through his sobs.

"No. No, that can't be." Booster Gold knelt beside him. "I'm . . . I'm sure it's just a scratch. Here." He grabbed Professor Chaos' cape, a green towel actually, and pressed it gently against his nose.

"WAAAAAAAA!!!!!" The kid kicked and flailed and covered his nose. "IT HURTS!!!! IT HURTS!!!! WAAAAAA!!!!"

"Aw, man. Look what you did," said a nasally voice behind him.

Booster Gold turned and saw another boy dressed in an aluminum foil and cardboard costume, rubbing his gut where the stun beam had hit. Could this be Professor Chaos' partner, General Disarray?

"Dude," Disarray continued. "His parents are gonna be super-pissed when they see what you did."

Booster Gold just gaped at Disarray. Professor Chaos still thrashed about on the floor, wailing up a storm.

Slowly, he turned to his little droid companion. "Skeets. Please tell me you stopped transmitting back to the Community Access Channel."

"You didn't order me to discontinue transmitting, Sir."

Booster Gold's shoulders slumped. His gaze fell to the bawling form of Professor Chaos.

"Oh crap."

**XXXXX**

_WATCHTOWER, THE NEXT DAY_

Booster Gold hung his head low as he stood before the horseshoe-shaped table where the founding members of the Justice League sat. Occasionally he glanced up to see the infuriated looks of Superman or Wonder Woman or Green Lantern. He dared not look at Batman. His glare alone made him want to wet his pants.

"Are you proud of yourself, Booster?" Superman said harshly. "Bad enough you used a stun beam on two ten-year-old kids, one of them, by the way, winding up with a broken nose. But the whole incident is being played on TV networks and Internet sites all over the world. The boy's parents are threatening to sue us. The State of Colorado, the U.S. Government and the United Nations are all calling for an investigation. Have you any idea how bad this makes the League look?"

Booster Gold swallowed. "Um . . . uh, I guess . . . pretty bad."

"Pretty bad doesn't come close to describing this PR nightmare." Superman glared at him. "Well, what do you have to say in your defense?"

Booster Gold's lips parted. The wheels of his brain cranked away, trying to find some excuse they'd accept, some sort of spin that would defuse this situation.

He straightened up, drew a deep breath, and replied as honestly as he could.

"I got nothin'."

**THE END**


End file.
